Times we laughed at the US State Department, Chapter 7

US asks Russia to "join Ukraine in the pursuit of peace."

Blue Seal, US Department of State
1 1,862

Published on: Oct 31, 2018 @ 16:30 – [To see earlier chapters, simply put “Times We Laughed” in the searchbox at upper right]

Only chapter 7? Well, it has been hard to keep up! And oftentimes, compiling these, it hurts when I laugh, since US foreign policy is likelier to be tragic. Yet, on the whole, it’s healthy to laugh, and this latest official pronouncement from Heather Nauert, spokesperson for the US Department of State, could be stand-up comedy — well, tragicomedy — for any well-informed reader.

It just begs for interjection. If I were producing a radio program, where and how often would I insert the laugh track?

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Here it is, entire, without any comments. We invite you, our readers, to make them!

“The United States congratulates Ukraine’s Parliament and Ukrainian leadership on extending the law on special status for Russia-controlled areas of eastern Ukraine. Extending this law, which would have expired yesterday, demonstrates Ukraine’s continued commitment to a peaceful resolution of the conflict and implementation of the Minsk agreements. Ukraine’s brave step towards peace stands in sharp comparison to Russia’s continued failure to fulfill its Minsk commitments.

“We call on Russia to join Ukraine in pursuing peace.

[Restraint is impossible: Ukraine is pursuing peace! One other simple comment: in the following, replace the word “Russia” with the word “America” and see if it doesn’t have the ring of truth]

“Russia and the forces it arms, trains, leads, and fights alongside have yet to follow through on repeated commitments to cease hostilities, withdraw foreign fighters, exchange detainees, or disband the illegal armed formations. Moscow should institute a full and comprehensive ceasefire and cancel the illegal sham elections it is organizing in the Russia-controlled parts of eastern Ukraine.

“The United States continues to support the efforts of France and Germany in the Normandy Format to advance implementation of the Minsk agreements and we remain open to dialogue with Moscow on avenues for restoring Ukraine’s territorial integrity within its internationally recognized borders.

This last, “We remain open to dialog with Moscow” ends up meaning “there will be no dialog with Moscow,” as it continues: “… for restoring Ukraine’s territorial integrity within its internationally recognized borders.”  This amounts, of course, to “When Russia is ready to turn Crimea back to Ukraine, we’ll talk”.  That is, We are closed to dialog. As for the Lugansk Peoples Republic, it doesn’t exist. As for the Donetsk Peoples Republic, it doesn’t exist, so there is no talking to them. And when Russia agrees with us, we’ll talk. 

As proposed above, we leave the remaining comments to the reader…

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