Putin™ — World’s most recognized brand

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Satire by Florian Schaar
In Algemeine Morgenpost Rundschau
August 12, 2015

Translated from German By Tom Winter
[Note: in the source, there are links backing up each item listed in the first sentence. Your translator didn’t want to clutter the text with all the examples of the use of the Putin brand…]

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Whether it’s a Putin Tiger, Putin smartphone, Putin Rocker, Putin super-spy ship, Putin tank, Putin World Cup, Putin Games, Putin Dog, or Putin Cat – if it says “Putin” on it, the consumer gives it a look. That may be inexact, but that’s the message of all the ads. Putin is leaving Coca-Cola, Apple, and McDonalds in his dust.

Especially popular are referenda, when the Putin brand stands behind it. Here you can expect approval rates of around 90%. 

The brand awareness has foreseeably attracted commercial piracy, often getting misused by counterfeiters mainly in the West. Advertisers simply put the well-known brand name in front of products that often have nothing at all to do with Putin, just to generate the clicks.

“Unfortunately, we can do little to prevent the mis-use. People in the West lack a normal human understanding of impropriety, that you can not claim about someone else stuff that doesn’t hold true. That’s just taking unfair advantage of an established brand”

According to polls, the Putin brand is highly sought after in neighboring Ukraine. 84% of Ukrainians can imagine a Putin-branded Ukraine

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