December 12 - Fort Russ News -
A Florian Schaar Satire in Allgemeine Morgenpost Rundschau, translated by Tom Winter -
|Supervillain and earliest victims...|
The US intelligence agency CIA, known world-wide for its precise and rarely false predictions, has found evidence that Putin is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. These hints are deemed so clear that they can be used as proof in the non-fake news in the mainstream press.
Specifically, they reveal that it was Russian hackers that leaked the previously hacked herbivore pasture grounds to the carnivores via the Mesozoic revelation platform "Dino-Leaks," whereupon they gobbled them all up. After that, the carnivores became big and fat.
Those who did not burst then starved, because they had eaten their own nutritional base. The many dinosaur explosions are also the reason why scientists have mistakenly assumed up to now that a meteorite ushered in the end of the dinosaurs.
AMR will continue to report on the crimes of the Russian Supervillain.
Tomorrow you will read on our pages how he murdered Kennedy and in the Roman Senate slipped Brutus the knife that he used to murder Julius Caesar.
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